I could so easily collapse and spend all day in a heap of tears, but if I did that why would I stop? If I was so upset that I couldn’t cope with work and spent days at home, why would I come back to work? Sophie is getting better, but it will be months, if not years, before we will be able to say that she is fully recovered, if she ever gets that far. Only my will and stubbornness to keep going has got me so far and now I’m here I have to keep going. My family has enough to worry about at the moment, without adding me to that. I have to keep on and I have to be strong. I have no choice. After a while it becomes habit – things are getter better, and so I feel (mostly) more positive about the future, so it is easier to keep on as I have been doing. And as I will continue to.